Hi everyone, I have exciting news! I’ve moved my blog over to jordynmyahsmisadventures.com. I love my new site, and I hope you all do too. So that’s where I’ll be from now on. I hope you join me.
In honor of the release of writer, professor, editor, blogger and all-around awesome lady Roxane Gay’s new book, Bad Feminist, I decided to dedicate this week’s Feminism Fridays to my views of bad feminism.
Like Roxane Gay, there are times when I too am a bad feminist. I do not get offended when someone refers to a group of men and women or just women as “guys.” I myself refer to groups of women as guys all the time. That’s the way our language evolved, and I’m ok with it.
Women are highly sexualized, and this is a problem, but I do not think we should desexualize them entirely. I think we should tone it down and make the sexualization of men equal to that of women, but honestly, I like looking at attractive women and men, and I would be disappointed if that disappeared.
I could go on. I could list all the things I think and do that a good feminist wouldn’t, but those things are not the problem. The problem is that there is such a distorted and uneducated view of feminism that it’s hard to say what exactly makes a good feminist or a bad one.
To improve the outside, and inside, views of feminism, I think two things need to happen. First, there needs to be a more concerted effort to educate people about feminism. Mothers can teach their daughters. Teachers can speak to their students. More classes can be offered. Feminists can get on WordPress and blog about feminism, maybe even on Fridays. The opportunities are endless, because, honestly, we aren’t doing that much right now.
The second thing that needs to happen is that feminism needs to be more inclusive, and feminists need to stop shaming each other. Bad feminists exist because, rather than educating others and spreading feminism as far as possible, other feminists tell us we’re wrong.
You know how I mentioned that I don’t care if I’m in a group and addressed as guys? I had a conversation with my friend Marla about that. She tried to tell me that I was being oppressed by letting people refer to me as “guys.” I was like, um, hello, you are currently oppressing me by telling me what I should and shouldn’t think.
(Marla, by the way, is one of the smartest and most wonderful people I know. We were able to have this conversation in a civil way without yelling at each other or making each other cry. She’s great that way.)
My point is that we should stop telling each other what we’re doing wrong and start telling the patriarchy what it’s doing wrong instead. We need to better include women of color and the LGBTQ community in feminism. Feminism is not just some cause for privileged, white heterosexual women to get behind. It is also not a group of men-hating bra-burners with copious amounts of hair flowing from all areas of their bodies. Feminism is the idea that gender equality should exist and that women should be able to choose who they want to be. Period.
I’m not going to stop addressing groups of people as “guys” anytime soon, and I’m certainly not going to figure out the best qualities of feminism in a day. So let’s get rid of the idea of bad feminists, because honestly, does anyone actually know a perfect feminist? Seriously. Come on, guys.
A lot of people are really into tarot. Most people scoff at it as just another hokey bit of mystical mumbo-jumbo. I’m one of those people who’s really into tarot.
Please don’t leave. I’m not a crazy lady. Hear me out.
I can be pretty cynical about this kind of stuff too. I’m very grounded in things I can physically experience. I love spirituality, but sometimes I have a difficult time connecting to the intangible stuff. For me, tarot is a way to connect to the part of myself I sometimes have a hard time reaching.
I use tarot as a kind of meditation. When I’m trying to figure out what direction to take my career or how to approach family issues, or when I just need affirmation that eating a pint of gelato in one sitting does not make me a bad person, I turn to my tarot cards.
The cards are purposely a bit vague so that they can apply to anyone. I see that as a positive thing. I don’t expect the cards to tell me the future or anything like that. I use them to organize my thoughts. Often I have so much going on in my head that I’m not sure which direction to go. Tarot helps me turn the craziness inside my head into a cohesive thought process. The cards tell me things I already knew but hadn’t been able to decipher properly (like the fact that I probably should not be eating a whole pint of gelato in one sitting).
Different people get different things from the cards. Some people are not very open to them, which is fine. Those who are open to guidance from the cards don’t find out who they’re going to marry or when they’re going to die. They simply find out how to organize their thoughts enough to start out on a more decisive path.
I don’t know if I believe in crystal balls or spirits or spells, but I do believe in guided meditation. Some people meditate during yoga. Others surround themselves with nature. I read tarot cards.
If you want to give tarot a chance, find a reader near you or ask me questions about tarot in the comments. It can seem silly at first, but the more you meditate with tarot, the better you’ll be able to decipher your thoughts. I can’t, however, make any promises regarding gelato intake.
I didn’t post anything for this past Feminism Fridays, and I’m sorry about that. I was busy all weekend showing my support for Israel. I went to a rally on Friday and spent Saturday editing audio from the rally so it could be used on a radio show called The Sunday Simcha. I will post something more about the rally later, but for now you can listen to the Sunday Simcha and hear some of what was said there by clicking on this link. If the date on the program page is not already listed as 8/3, choose that date and press play.
You should also read this article about how the son of Hamas’ co-founder spied for Israel. It shines light on some of the actual facts of the terrorist organization controlling Gaza.